After hearing about my friend's break up with her boyfriend I asked her if she would share some of her feelings with me. This is what she shared: “Our relationship got to the point where I was not honest with him. I made up stories just to please him and lied to him about my activities. If only I had not tolerated the abuse—but I couldn’t see it for what it was. I was confused. I was manipulated. I knew things weren’t right, but I thought it would get better. But really what he needed was professional help. I was not the cause of his problems, although he was making me feel like I was. I finally started realizing this relationship wasn’t good for me. In the end that is why I had to break it off, because I had to look out for myself and I knew that if it went any further, the damage to myself would be too detrimental. And, in fact, I am hurt now. I am frightened of emotions. I am 19 years old and scared to get close to anyone. I am afraid of being manipulated again and of not being able to get out of another relationship, or that it will happen again and I won’t realize it again.” Healing and Wholeness: A Resouce Guide on Domestic Abuse in the Jewish Community, Edited by Diane Gardsbane, Jewish Women International, 2002